Male victims of DV

Much is made of the apparently ‘silent masses’ of male victims of DV. There is the “1 in 3” Australian campaign that maintains that one in three DV victims is male (with the inference that the perpetrators are female partners, and nor will I link to such propaganda), or the UK’s “Parity” campaign that 40% of DV victims are male.

All of it is rubbish of course. Just made up stats, or stats that are skewed in some way, like equating a strangulation and near-death experience with being ‘nagged’ to take out the garbage. This by the way, is not an equivalent.

No one can take these men seriously when they alter the facts and statistics to try and portray ‘women as violent as men’. It is blatantly not true. A cursory glance of the prison stats will reveal the truth, with can be extrapolated to other areas of violent crime. Well over 90% of the prison population is male, and most are in there for violent crimes. Of the women in prison, most are in there for non-violent crimes. So if you were to compare male violent criminals in prison to violent female criminals in prison, it would be far more like 98/2. Most of the women in prison are there for non-violent crimes, and very short sentences.

Of the women who do kill? Well, again, a very small category, and those killing their abusers, make up most them in some way. The NSW Coroner’s report on 10 years of DV homicides found that in the majority of cases where women kill partners, those partners were known or strongly suspected DV abusers. And ZERO cases of the “female abusers killing male DV victims”. At least 29 of those males killed were known or suspected abusers—over 10 years. Making just less than three men killed per year in NSW by female partners, and they were known/suspected abusers, killed by their female victims.

Yet every time you go to a Facebook or a news comment thread, there are apparently ‘loads’ of male victims of female partners. Or someone supposedly vouching for ‘someone they know’ where this is supposedly the case.

We call such outrageous and false claims as propaganda. Because it is clearly a distortion on reality. The reality that happens more than once per week in Australia, a male murdering his female current or former partner.

As it stands so far in 2015, somewhere between 50-60 women have been killed, or allegedly killed, by current/former male partners—making up the bulk of Australian homicides of women (currently around 67). That is a pretty clear pattern, around two-thirds of Australian women murdered by current/former male partners.

What about the flipside?

Oh yes, the male DV victims. Here is the known list, so far in 2015.

  • 24 Jan: Corey Croft & Renee Carter, found dead at home. Renee Carter’s former partner arrested for the crime. Their 5yo son found unharmed at the scene, but spent about 24 hours in the house with his murdered parents. Carter had an older child with the alleged perpetrator.
  • 31 Mar: Greg McNaughton, shot and killed, and his friend wounded by an alleged attack by McNaughton’s son, arrested.
  • 06 Apr: Bruce Monaghan stabbed to death by his new female partner’s male ex-partner, in front of witnesses, so no allegedly needed
  • 23 Apr: Saif Jouda, allegedly killed by his uncle
  • 26 Jun: Stephen Cumberland and Jacob Cumberland (father and son) along with Rebecca Webb, were allegedly murdered by Webb’s ex-partner of a few months. The Cumberlands were offering her help to escape the abusive ex-partner.
  • 03 Jul: Phil Walsh, a football coach, allegedly murdered by his son
  • 18 Aug: Suyoung An, allegedly murdered by male flatmate
  • 30 Aug: Jay Cerin, allegedly murdered by Cerin’s half brother. A female accomplice is also co-charged

So looking at the relatively short list of adult males murdered in DV circumstances so far this year, all were murdered, or allegedly murdered, by other males, with one case of a female accomplice.

Zero cases of female abusers murdering male victims.

All murdered by other males.

Whereas, most of the female DV victims were outstandingly murdered, or allegedly murdered by males.

There is nothing remotely like ‘parity’ in DV. Males are overwhelmingly the perpetrators. Females are overwhelmingly the victims. And that is why there is the focus on female victims of DV, far more likely to be killed in DV. The perps are basically the same group, males, in both cases anyway.

So whenever an MRA (“Males Rights Activist”) bleats on about “what about the male victims?”, the cause is still basically the same, male perpetrators. But they will always try to maintain, or infer, the problem is female perpetrators.

Most cases of male victim DV homicide are fathers killed by adult sons. Sometimes the other way. Or other male relatives like uncles killing nephews, or nephews killing uncles, or grandsons killing grandfathers, or even gay partners killing each other. Sometimes women are caught up in this, sometimes not. But male violence remains the primary root cause of DV and DV homicides.

There is no parity. Nothing remotely like it.

19 thoughts on “Male victims of DV

  1. Excellent analysis providing factual evidence of non-existence of ‘pandemic of female perpetrators murdering their male/ex male partners.’ But not matter what evidence is produced to prove such male claims are male lies; men and their female collaborators continue to proclaim the lie ‘wah women are as violent as men!’ Apparently the moon is made of green cheese if men say so!

    So why are men continuing to utter lies claiming ‘40% of DV victims are males and 1 in 3 victims of DV are males?’ Answer is because men have to deflect attention away from which sex is doing what to which sex and given males are the ones overwhelmingly committing acts of lethal violence against women within mens’ private spheres, not the reverse, this is why men continue to hysterically utter their lies. Such lies also serve to deflect attention away from the so-called ‘domestic sphere’ which is where majority of lethal male violence against women and their children happens. Said deflection ensures pertinent questions such as how and why men continue to enact their male pseudo sex right to oppress and control women with impunity within their ‘male private domestic spheres’ are not raised. (Apart from Radical Feminist research/analysis and of course said research/analysis is biased because only men are capable of undertaking research from an objective and neutral perspective because they are the definitive human species whereas we women aren’t human – we merely exist to be mens’ disposable/interchangeable slaves/commodities).

    That well-known phrase ‘a man’s home is his castle’ is as relevant today as it when it was first coined. All men are not accorded equal economic/social power, but all men continue to accord themselves male sex right to oppress and all too commonly murder their so-called female sexual property; her children/other relatives who challenge this male sex right.

    Men do not want to be held accountable concerning how and why they continue to maintain their male pseudo sex right to oppress us women and how mens’ Male Supremacist System justifies/excuses/denies the fact male violence against women is a pandemic and rather than decreasing is increasing. Guess who benefits from these systemic male initiated denials? Nope it isn’t women!

    Instead we are supposed to ignore Government statistics (which co-incidentally are researched and published by mens’ male Supremacist Institutions) concerning numbers of males imprisoned for crimes of violence committed because this is ‘biased against men.’ Instead we women are expected to believe that whatever propaganda men create it is always ‘mens’ definitive truths’ and ignore how said propaganda always conveniently omits to state which sex is doing what to which sex! Such as mens’ lie (oops I mean mens’ definitive truth) that 40% of DV victims are male (but omitting to state sex of entities who have committed DV against those males and/or refusing to provide factual evidence in support of their male created lies).

    Do not forget Society which continues to be male dominated and male-centric believes that whatever males claim it is always the definitive objective/neutral/rational truth especially when issue is about supposedly innumerable females perpetrating violence against innocent males! No matter what factual evidence we Radical; Feminists provide – the men continue to proclaim ‘this is not true; this is biased because the Feminist Researchers are Feminists and hence their research is not to be believed.’

    There is no symmetry between male on female violence and female on male violence – but that will soon change given innumerable violent males are claiming they have become females and hence these violent male criminals will have their crimes recorded as ‘female violence perpetrated against males!’

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yes! Thank you so much for this, Davina. I am so tired of reading news of women being abused by men only for it to be ruined by some MRA and his lackies that come jumping out of the bushes to scream out “this happens to men too!”. It’s so disrespectful on so many different levels it’s not even funny. To 1)take the spotlight off of a serious issue that many women face, so that 2) he can derail it and make it all about him shows us just how mature he is. Women never do this to men, yet he has no problem [bullying] doing this to us. Just thinking in real life, I know of more female relatives that have been abused by male partners than women abusing their male partners. So that right there just proves he’s a liar.
    I also find it interesting that if those numbers are to high with men being abused by women, why aren’t they in the comment section backing up this claim like women?
    How come I see comment after comment of women saying that they were in an abusive relationship with a man, but rarely, if ever any man claiming this about his female partner?

    All one has to do is apply nothing but common sense [as you did in your post] to disprove his lie, and voila, it’s just another boy who cries wolf.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Men who claim to be concerned about male victims of violence fall into one of two groups:

    1) those who, usually without fanfare, work on programmes to try and give boys and men something more useful to do with their lives than indulging their violent, abusive, entitled, bratty tantrums.

    2) those who don’t give a toss about putting in any real educated effort to working with other men – they are far, far more interested in sabotaging women’s work and continuing as abusers themselves.

    Group 1 are a tiny minority

    Group 2 are loud, active and almost the entirety of the men who post about this online and whine about it in real life and unfortunately they have a lot of success.

    Really, it’s like someone saying they are all about saving the whales, while spending all their time sending death threats to RSPB members and campaigning to get plant-based eco research shut down: “Waaaah, what about the mammals ???”

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Something I noticed early on about dv statistics and violence in general is no distinction is made between the violent abuser and someone who is trying to defend themselves against his violence and abuse. It all gets lumped in the same category.
    The vast majority of “violent” women fall under the latter category. Self-defense.

    It’s just one more way men invisibilize male violence against women and pretend women do it too.

    Liked by 6 people

  5. I do believe that some men are treated appallingly by their wives and girlfriends and the “women good men bad” idea is dangerous.

    more men kill women full stop and we need to start looking at why. This behaviour is so common these men can’t be unusual nutters they must on some level think it’s their right and that makes me want to just stay away from men.


  6. Pingback: Male victims of DV | I Really Think I Know What I'm Talking About

  7. It is really sad if men are trying to suggest that women kill men at even a third of the rate of female domestic violence death. That is clearly not the case. The definition of domestic violence is broad though.

    Reach out defines domestic violence as “Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence, happens in many forms including physical, emotional and economic violence, and can affect people of any age. It does not have to be within the home to be classified as domestic violence. It is a form of violence that can occur within any relationship (family or intimate partner). Domestic violence is about power and control and there are many ways this control can be expressed”.

    All domestic violence is evil but I’m not sure how we tackle the problem if we only talk about the cases that result in death.


    • “but I’m not sure how we tackle the problem if we only talk about the cases that result in death.”

      We don’t only talk about the cases that end in death—but homicide is the pointy end of the stick, the one thing there is no fixing. Death is final, no coming back from it. So yes, it does get a priority when talking about DV, because this is a triage situation, and deal with the lessor instances later. And of DV homicides, adult females make the majority of victims, followed by children, and trailing well behind, are adult males (usually killed by other males).

      The majority of perpetrators, fatal and non-fatal DV incidents are male. And that is because we live in a male dominated society, that tells men (and women too) that men are more important, that they (men) should be controlling everyone and everything, and that women (and children) are mere appendages to their world view.

      Also the one thing you missed in your copy/paste, is that DV is “a pattern of controlling behaviours”. Even in a seemingly ‘first instance’ (fatality), the other pattern of behaviours will be there, eg extreme jealousy, financial control, threats to kill or commit suicide, etc.

      Rather than coming here to mansplain, read Lundy Bancroft’s “Why does he do that?”, then you may just get a clue as to what the stakes are in all this, and not be ‘confused’ as to what is/isn’t DV, and the ranking of seriousness of DV, as well as why this is primarily a male-perp thing.

      Liked by 3 people

  8. Your argument is littered with instances where you mix the ideas of “DV” and “DV related homicide”. I think you have successfully shown that the majority of homicide perpetrators are male. However, then you seem to imply that this means females are not perpetrating relationship DV in significant numbers, or that males aren’t victims of relationship DV in significant numbers?

    Because of this flaw, you have not actually falsified any of the claims saying 30-40% of DV victims are male, nor the claims that females commit DV in significant numbers.


    • See my above reply to the other mansplainer.
      And ps, you also offer no proof that “30-40% of DV victims are male, nor the claims that females commit DV in significant numbers”. Just saying it does not make it true, back it up with some evidence, not mansplaining.

      The reason the majority of perpetrators are male (and their victims, in order, are women, children and other men) is due to male socialisation and male entitlement. Women are not socialised to have “female entitlement” (no such thing), which is why it is much rarer that females are the perpetrators, and when they are, it is primarily due to legitimate and longstanding mental health issues. The adult males who are perpetrators, RARELY have the same legitimate mental health issues, they are a tiny minority of cases.

      Liked by 2 people

    • Oh dear. Kris the mansplainer came back with a linkdump of dodgy bullshit that proves only that MRAs are working overtime on the internet spreading bullshit. His summary was:

      “After doing some reading, my opinion would be that “intimate partner violence” rates for males and females are roughly equal (and by extension, how often they are victims). However, males on average do more serious harm than females, and escalate to homicide more often.

      Roughly equal – zmog Kris, go away! And nice touch with, effectively, ‘menz are just better and more efficient at murder’. Like I haven’t heard that MRAism before!

      Give it up Kris. Go back to your MRA-mancave. Your comment ended up in the trash, as will future comments from you.

      Liked by 2 people

      • [DS edit: This dude won’t quit, but we are now well and truly in the insulting portion of the exchange from here on in]

        Haha wow, the point in the discussion where you feel the need to suppress the sources you yourself requested. What sort of mental gymnastics do you perform to convince yourself that readers would do better not seeing the scientific studies behind a claim? You and MRAs seem to have a lot more in common than you’d think. To be transparent: I’m studying the psychology (behaviour/cognitive bias) of both groups and the parallels never cease to amaze me. Good luck with it all, but maybe reflect a little on the process you used to dismiss those sources (and why you decided that your readers should hear about them but not see them).


  9. Pingback: #ThankaFeminist Australia 2015 | REAL for women

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s