Time and time again, males accused of killing females, use the ‘defence’ that they “just lost it”. This defence also exists on a background of popular patriarchy mythology that men don’t have emotions, and cannot cry, and are therefore, just as much victims of patriarchy. Let us examine.
He “just lost it” when he bashed her to death with an axe, whilst she held their eight-day-old baby in her arms, in front of her two sons and another family member.
He “just lost it” when he stabbed her eighty times (not just three) with a large knife, until her body was a bloody mess and unrecognisable.
He “just lost it” when he chased her back into the apartment as she tried to escape, and then threw her over the balcony from the fifteenth floor.
He “just lost it” as he chased her from their house to the neighbours’ house, broke down the bedroom door where she was hiding and shot her.
He “just lost it” when he tracked her down to her new apartment, forced his way in, then stabbed her to death.
He “just lost it” when he killed her, shoved her into the boot of the car, then killed himself. They were not even dating, just ‘friends’. Well, he thought they were dating.
He “just lost it” when he engaged in a terrifying car chase, forced her car off the road, fatally shot her and injured her friend.
He probably “just lost it” as he steered his invalid wheelchair-bound wife into the pond and held her down until she breathed no more. Swanky new Asian girlfriend possibly waiting in the wings was clearly no motivation.
He “just lost it” three weeks after being released on bail for previous attacks on the victim, and then broke into her home and stabbed her to death while she was sleeping.
He “cannot remember” tying up his naked niece, photographing her terrified face and intimate body parts on his cell phone, stabbing her to death, then dumping her naked body many kilometres away in the ocean. He only recalls that they “may have had an argument”, so perhaps he “just lost it”.
He “just lost it” when he gouged out his wife’s eye, flushed it down the toilet, cut off the parts of two of her fingers, and then stabbed her to death – in front of the children. He probably also “just lost it” when he dumped her body a few kilometres away near a tennis court.
He probably “just lost it” when he murdered his ex-wife, stuffed her body in a suitcase and threw it in the river. Her wealth had nothing to do with it.
He “just lost it” when he deliberately drove over his mother with the car after an argument.
He probably “just lost it” when he drove the vehicle off the pier, escaping himself, but accidentally leaving his girlfriend to drown.
He “just lost it” after repeated stalkings outside her home, and on one night broke in and stabbed her to death. AVOs don’t stop knives.
He was the last person to see her alive and her body has never been found. He probably “just lost it”, but chose to ‘paint away the pain’. He was arrested two years later. I have never seen the press be so blatant naming someone not officially deemed a ‘person of interest’.
He “just lost it” as he stabbed her over 50 times, while she was breastfeeding their son on the bed.
He “just lost it” as he stabbed his wife and mother of four daughters to death. But he really loves his daughters. He said so.
He probably “just lost it” when he stabbed new (homeless) girlfriend in a car park and left her there identified for quite a while. She was likely escaping a situation in another state, and possibly being the reason she was homeless (the most common reason for women).
He probably “just lost it” as he lured his ex to a car park, likely under false pretenses, then chased her into a fast food establishment before shooting her in the head, then killing himself, all in front of terrified customers and staff.
He clearly “just lost it” when seeing pictures of his ex on social media with a possible new boyfriend. He broke into her apartment and then stabbed her to death. The media latched onto tasteful headlines such as ‘selfie murder’.
He probably “just lost it” when his ex-girlfriend visited town, pushing her down the metal stairs of the carpark and leaving her there to die.
The women above are proportionately representative of the nationality/race make-up of Australia. Primarily killed by the men of their own race/nationality, however, white men are the exception, killing women of other nationalities in addition to white women. The sad exception though, is that Aboriginal women are murdered at a higher rate (and primarily by Aboriginal men).
These are but a few cases of the many of the last few years of Australia only. Males, supposedly rational and cool individuals (so we are told) have a rather ‘unfortunate’ habit of “just losing it” when it comes to the women in their lives. Some admit it, some don’t, but that ‘defence’ is available to them, and often this excuse is believed, at least in part.
The problem with the ‘just lost it’ is that it is a form of victim blaming, that the victim ‘somehow’ acted in a way to cause the perpetrator to “just lose it”. I fail to see how breastfeeding a newborn child on the bed warrants a death sentence.
It is time to stop the slaughter of women. It is time to hold men accountable, even well before this murderous point. It is time to believe women when they say they are afraid of the men in their lives. It is time to protect women far better when they leave these violent men. It is time to stop the slaughter. And it is beyond time to stop accepting these pathetic excuses for femicide.